It's not easy to do great work. It requires humility, service, empathy, focus, diligence, clear communication, and much more. One way to encourage each other to keep doing our best work is to compliment them.
Just saying “Good job” isn't nearly enough. Let's break down how to give exceptional compliments.
We give compliments to promote greatness and instill courage, not to get promoted or affirm poor performance. Double checking your intentions before giving compliments is important to maintain a pure compliment culture. Ultimately, if you are inauthentic in your recognition, people may think you are inauthentic in other areas as well.
A good rule to follow is: Don't compliment someone because you feel you should; compliment them because you feel compelled to let them know how they impact you or others.
Clarity is kindness. This is true for all feedback, including compliments. Leaving no room for doubt reinforces the authenticity of your compliment, showing that you really appreciate what you are complimenting.
Imagine telling your best friend that you love them, but when they ask you “What do you love about me?”, you can't give them a clear answer? The lack of clarity will refute the entire compliment, and even make it feel like more of an insult.
Providing details and examples to help the person comprehend the context of our remarks can be a great way to be clear.
It's easy to see compliments as a way to simply recognize someone for their achievements. Instead, showing appreciation for the process and effort that went into producing the results can be much more impactful. Compliments that only focus on the result often trigger a concern in the receiver of not being able to produce the same result in the future.
When recognizing someone, show them that you appreciate the time, sacrifice, creativity, or care that went into their work.
It's tempting to think that compliment is only about the receiver, but there is a reason why you are the one giving the compliment. Including the way you experienced or were impacted by their work, gives the compliment extra gravity. None of us care to do work that stays in a vacuum. We want to know that our work as meaning and impact.
Consider sharing how their ownership impacts the team, their work changes the company's results, or how their attitude influences the team culture.
The next time you feel compelled to give a compliment, before you share, pause for a minute and answer the following questions: